Dee Popat, our family lawyer, spoke to Gulf News on how to have a happy marriage.
Marriage is not a fairy tale
It is so important to be aware of expectations that your partner has of marriage before getting involved on such a serious level. Human beings have only ever wanted to show the rest of the world how happy and successful they are. We don’t ever want to show that we are struggling. So in order to keep up appearances, people share photos of their best moments together. Publically, they act in a very doting way. But marriage is hard and it’s important to understand what the other person expects in this union.
Forget about competing with your friends and ignore all the peer pressure!
Everyone appears to be happy. People tend to show this great exterior image of themselves living the dream life. Marriage looks so appealing to those who aren’t married. But you have to be logical and pragmatic. Just because your friends are married, does not mean that you, as a couple, are there yet. Life is not a competition and you should not do something just because ‘you are supposed to’ or because ‘it’s time’. Many of the divorce cases I work on, cite this reason. “I rushed into it and now I regret it”.
Sometimes there is a strong desire to get married because couples cannot spend as much time together without being married. As a result, many people hurry into it and eventually regret their decision. Taking the time to get to know each other is so very important. So try and spend as much time as possible in close proximity, so you can really understand your partner before marriage.
Make sure you always fight fair
Many of my clients who deal with verbal abuse from their spouses, usually knew about the habit before they got married. Many of them could tell the partner loses his/her temper easily, or doesn’t fight fair. And the mistake that many of them do, is ignore it and wait to deal with it after they get married. It is important to nip it in the bud early on and work with your partner on how to fight fair, rather than fight dirty. Anger is when many people’s true colours come out, so those should be important indicators as to how this person develops over the years.
– Dee Popat
“Although I am a Family Lawyer, my work is predominantly about divorce. 80 percent of my clients come to me with divorce as the main request.” Dee Popat told Gulf News. Dee Popat is the Head of the Family Department /Senior Legal Consultant / Solicitor at James Berry Associates Legal Consultants.
Head of Family Law / Senior Consultant